The baby ticker I have on this blog, is mocking me. Yes, I am completely aware that I'm 40 weeks plus 4 days pregnant. Thank you very much. If I have to listen to one more well meaning soul to joke "gee, you're STILL pregnant?!" I am going to lose it.

Yesterday, I had my weekly appointment with my OB to see where things were at. Well...no good news or good options really. First let me say that I am still healthy and that the baby is still healthy. That is the good news to be had, actually. But...the downside: while he is still head down, he has not dropped into the birth canal. There are still no signs of labor (effacement, dilation. Sorry, if that is too much info for my readers). And...these issues compounded by the chance it might be necessary to induce labor at some point, complicated by that he *might* be bigger than they originally thought - means I am looking at a 50% chance of needing a c-section right now. It's all rather complex and I'm skimming the details here.

I burst into tears when she told me all this. I just couldn't help it. I'm so abjectly miserable & uncomfortable at this state of pregnancy - and I'm one of those women who actually liked being pregnant! I'm so swollen that I actually have cankles and am supposed to stay off my feet to help with the swelling. My fingers are in a state of constant numbness thanks to carpel tunnel (another lovely late-stage symptom of pregnancy no one tells you about). I can't sleep. I waddle when I walk. Oh, and I have to wear my bedroom slippers when I go out since none of my shoes fit. I'm sure there is something else I'm forgetting, but that gives you an idea.

When you are pregnant, you have in your head a certain hope for how the birth will go. And when that hope is dashed - it is like getting ice water thrown in the face. I had hoped for sure, something was happening...but no. That said, she gave me a couple of choices: we can move to start inducement now if we want. Or, we can wait a week, until next Monday, regroup and see where things are at then. If by then I still show no improvement...considering setting a date to induce is more likely by her as she has indicated she will not allow me to go 14 days past my due date (it doubles the risk of stillborn to go 2 weeks past the due date).  If I choose not to induce..she'll send me for another ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level. If it has dropped - they must induce right away, anyway.

Medical inducement does pose certain risks too - as do most medical procedures and most prescription drugs. Some are very serious - rare - but still the chance. She gave me a list of the drugs used to induce and told me to educate myself on them so I could make a better choice. Jesse and I looked them up and researched them last night & ruled out a couple. We have prayed about it and feel like we're supposed to wait a week. We feel like it's a faith thing. We have peace about that. Even if we wind up having to induce - there is no guarantee this will not end up in a c-section - a possibility when you induce labor. Neither are fantastic options. I'm trying not to think about that now. So, Jesse will go with me to the next appointment on Monday and we'll make a decision from there what to do.

So, if you are a prayer - please pray that Jess and I would have discernment and wisdom. Inducement would not be a hastily made choice - but a last resort rather. Pray for my health & safety too - I'm frightened. And the baby's health too, of course. Inducement is hard on them too.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." 

Yesterday on FB I posted a rant that went something like this:

"is now completely convinced how worthless the US Postal Service is and hopes their demise is soon to get rid of idiots like my mailman."

Some people liked my comment, but wanted me to elaborate. Others thought I was being harsh, but still wanted me to elaborate. So, I will.

Ever since we moved into this house, almost two years ago, we have had ongoing mail issues. Mainly, the biggest issue is mail wasn't getting picked up. When I finally called the post office to find out what the deal was, they informed me that since my box was attached to the side of my house (as most are in this neighborhood) that the postman only picked up outgoing mail if there was mail that needed to be delivered too. I'd never heard of such a thing (having only had mailboxes on the curb growing up - for which the regulations are different) but, I accepted their explanation. However, we still have a problem with mail getting picked up even when they deliver mail. They just open the lid on the box and toss it in the incoming mail - never taking an extra 2 seconds to look for outgoing mail. This only happens when my regular mailman (a taciturn man who I envision as just counting the days until he retires) is out and they have a sub mailman on the route.

Yesterday, I heard the mailman (who was a sub) put mail in the box. As it was still pretty early in the morning, I went to go get it out - he did not take my outgoing mail. So, I grabbed it and chased him down the sidewalk, since I really needed to get this mail out today.

Me: "Excuse me sir! You missed my outgoing mail" I called to him.

Mailman: "Where was it"?

Me: (Taken aback) "....in the box"

Mailman: "in the box?" 

Me: Yes...in the box. In plain sight in the box"

Mailman: "You don't put your mail outside the box?"

Me: "How can I put it outside the box?"

Mailman: (with a hint of sarcasm in his voice) "with a clothespin. You attach it outside the box. I never look in the box."

Me: "well...thank you for taking this mail (and I handed it to him) today."

I then turned and stalked back into the house with as much dignity as I could muster being I'm 9 months pregnant and I was in my bathrobe, pajamas and slippers still.

I was livid then. And I'm still pretty annoyed about this encounter for several reasons. One being, I looked up USPS.com their guidelines for outgoing mail. It says the following:

The United States Postal Service makes every effort to pickup and deliver your mail. Outgoing mail is picked up:

• For curbside delivery if the flag is up or if there is mail to deliver.
• For door delivery if there is mail to deliver.
• From the outgoing mail slot in a Cluster Box.

All mail picked up by letter carriers must comply with normal weight and size restrictions:

• Correct postage must be applied to the item.
• The mailpiece must fall within the size and weight restrictions of the class.

If you are concerned that you may have too much mail for the letter carrier to pick it all up, you may either:

• Drop it off at a local Post Office facility.
• Request a Carrier Pickup (not available in all markets).
• Schedule a Pickup on Demand online.
• Contact your local Post Office for further help.

If your mailbox is located on the street, letter carriers should pickup outgoing mail if the flag is up. If your mailbox is attached to the house, letter carriers are not required to pickup mail if they have no mail to deliver. Mail cannot be delivered to or picked up from a blocked mailbox..

No where in their published guidelines does it say I must hang my mail out like laundry for all the neighborhood to see & to put me at greater risk for mail theft - just to get it picked up! I should NOT have to chase down my mailman to beg to get outgoing mail (when he delivering mail too) picked up. He should be doing his damn job, looking in the box and grabbing the mail - then depositing the mail he is delivering. Instead, he does the least amount of work he has to and instead wants me to use a clothespin to make things more convenient for him. And treats me like a moron because I won't.

Second, I think the USPS is subsidized by money from the federal government. But I'm not sure on this point.  I have read a few things online written by postal workers who swear that since 1984 they have not taken federal money. I find this hard to believe because this past summer, there was a Senate subcommittee who called the postmaster general, John E. Potter, to testify before them and rake him over the coals for a projected 7 billion dollar shortfall this year. 7 billion dollars!  If the post office takes no federal funding, then why would they be called to account before the United States Senate being in the red by 7 billion? Last year it was 2.8 billion short.

So, my point behind all this is, I think it is an atrocious waste of money, possibly my tax dollars, that the Postal Service is burning through and what do they have to show for it? Mail still doesn't get picked up! Customer service can be hit or miss. Mostly miss. And all in all - many of those employees don't care because they are government employees and know that it would take a lot for them to get fired. It's job security for them. Unfortunately, lack of caring and lack of good service are not things that will get them fired.
If a private company like Fed Ex or UPS ran this way - they would have been out of business long ago. Prices still go up at USPS - but service never seems to match that - it keeps going down.

To be fair - I concede the point that it is cheap to mail a letter in this country. And I concede the point that if mail service were privatized, it might make mail service for rural customers very expensive. And in fairness, I will also note that the postal service station that I go to on a regular basis has friendly clerks who work hard and are efficent whenever I go in to mail a package or buy stamps. However, these points are not valid reasons to cling to an outdated status quo system at USPS of doing "business as usual". Arrogant, ineffective postal workers who think they can do the bare minimum should be called into question - instead of defended by their superiors. Long lines at the post office with only one clerk working - while the other takes their lunch break - should be a thing of the past. It should not take an act of God to get your mail delivery restarted again after you put a hold on it. I could go on and on. Suffice to say, there is a valid reason why people in this country hate USPS. The problem is USPS just does not seem to care.